Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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