I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
