just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
