If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
