if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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