If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
