so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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