my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
