Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
