Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
