So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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