Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
