He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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