i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
