Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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