I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Jerry, you need to find god
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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