in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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