the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
