I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
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