you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
