and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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