I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
