EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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