I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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