Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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