my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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