that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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