Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
