It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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