Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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