you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
