Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
