is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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