I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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