they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
