You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
