so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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