Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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