i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
