Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Randomize
