Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
His hands were made for my vagina.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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