Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
