Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
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