You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
