Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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