Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
