So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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