real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
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my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
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He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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