Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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