I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
