Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
