That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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