So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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