bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
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