Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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