I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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